New things happening soon!

Well hello there! Long time no see... so to speak. I've been a bad bad blogger, not posting in over 6 months and all. I'm just gonna cut right to the chase and let y'all know that during my absence I've been maniacally planning and scheming all while producing a lot of art. What schemes could could I be scheming? What plans could I be planning? Well, I want to make art for a living. I know this is very difficult to do and some people think it's a dreamers dream, but I wouldn't be true to myself if I didn't at least try. I have to start somewhere and it seems that Etsy really is the best place to start. So, I will be opening my very own Prettiest Thistles Etsy shop in the near future! 

I've been carefully studying Kari Chapin's indispensable book The Handmade Marketplace and although the book has educated me imperatively about almost every issue dealing with selling my art, I must admit I've lost more that a few nights sleep worrying about every potential pitfall and mistake I could make. My excessive worrying really slowed down the whole process a bit and I've recently decided to just go for it anyway! It's now or never! Sure, I'm aware that I will most likely make some mistakes along the way and I'm positive that things won't come as easily as I wish. But that's the beauty of the whole situation. It's work. Art is honest and hard work from the deepest depths of who I am without having to compromise a bit of myself.

I'm already in the process of photographing my art and I promise the images will make their way here before anywhere else. Cross my heart and hope to die.

Wish me luck... I'll need it.

Strange Dream

This morning I awoke from the strangest dream. It's not often that I have (or remember) a dream of such deep meaning so I thought I'd share it before it becomes forgotten.

I was at a lake and the sun was rising. The sky was a swirl of radiant pinks and peaches. The air was warm and moist, but not uncomfortable. I saw a man swimming in the lake and for some reason I felt compelled to swim to him. He didn't speak to me or motion to me, he just looked at me. It was like I was being gravitationally pulled to him. I got in the water with my clothes on and started to swim after him and he started to swim away. As he was swimming away I reached out and grabbed his leg but it slipped right out of my hand. He was fully clothed but felt as slippery as a fish. He continued to swim away and I continued to swim after him. He was swimming in a circle. I finally caught up to him and when I swam next to him, he embraced me. Within his embrace was more love and warmth than I've ever felt in my life. Then I woke up.

I can't for the life of me remember what the man looked like and whenever I try to envision his face all I can see is a blur. The only detail of him I can remember is that he had brown hair. I'm still trying to figure out what it all means, though I'll probably never really know.

Right after I awoke, the Laura Veirs song, Lake Swimming swarmed through my mind. The song is an absolute perfect reflection of my dream and will forever be linked in my mind.   

Lake swimming 

Shucking free our deadened selves

Like snakes and corn do

Our bodies tore off swimming suits

And all the old notions

The cold ocean far away

Enter the sun 

Marching like a matador

Flashing her velvet yellow suit

Throwing a red cape on the sky

Old butterfly 

I’ll dance with you

Though our wings may crumble

We can float like ash

Broken but the edges still shine

Lake swimming 

Shucking free our deadened selves

Like snakes and corn do

Our bodies tore off swimming suits

And all the old notions

The cold ocean far away

So in Love

Happy February! I love February mainly because spring is right around the corner and of course, because of Valentines Day! I just love love and I love that there's a day devoted to love. I seriously fall in love on a daily basis. I fall so easily. I fall in love with coy smiles and beautiful minds, flouncy dresses and delicate flavors, all shades of blue and green, gentlemanly acts and shiny winged insects, sunlight on pale skin and the perfume of fresh lavender, cold blood oranges, cat-eye glasses and many more lovely love-worthy things. What things make you fall in love? I'd love to hear about it!

Right now, I'm head over heels for these:

I'm dreaming of spring picnics with Sofia wearing this "Dreaming of Blue" dress.

Sweet and bubbly imported drinks from Belvoir Fruit Farms. I'm totally obsessed! The Elderflower drink is my favorite but the little British Import shop I get them from is out right now.

Color samples from my watercolor class this semester. 

These heavenly vegan friendly lemon cookies!

The sweet tiny blossoms on my African Violet make me swoon.

Resolutions and Such

I know making New Year's resolutions are considered trite to many people and I totally understand why. However, for the past few years I have made resolutions and I have been successful at following through with all of them. Needless to say, since resolutions are immensely beneficial to me, I've made a significant resolution for 2011.

My resolution for this year is to do something creative everyday of my life. While embracing art full force last year (after almost abandoning it entirely due to an emotional trauma in my late teens) I've learned that I absolutely need to be creative to be happy. Unfortunately, it's all too easy for me to slip out of a daily artistic routine without a deadline for a project. So by making this resolution, I've created a deadline for a completed project every day of my life. Now, I'm not completely insane. I've been liberal enough with my personal definition of a creative project so that it can mean anything from taking my camera on a walk and snapping some beautiful pictures, to writing a blog post, to completing a drawing. I hope to share more of these projects here and get over my fear that my artistic endeavors might not be good enough, whatever good enough even means.

Here's to a fabulous new year full of accomplishments! Wish me luck...

*photo of Caladium bicolor, by me

Happy Halloween Y'all!

Wowza! This post is long overdue. I do believe it's been a good few weeks since my last posting. I know, I'm a lame blogger. Anywho, to help make it up to you, here's a special Halloween present. This is Lizzie, my latest art project. The assignment was to create a monster not based on any preexisting monsters, so of course I had to create a plant based monster!  She's drawn on green canson paper with marker underlayering, ink and colored pencil, cut out and placed in one of my favorite aged terra cotta pots with reindeer moss. Lizzie's DNA is mostly comprised of the carnivorous plant genus Sarracenia (commonly known as the pitcher plant) as well as a little piranha DNA and some unknown, unidentifiable genes which could be alien. Her botanical name and mini biography are provided on the ID tag.  Hope you like!

First Love

So, after reading this inspirational post from Claire, which was inspired by this and this, I've decided to share a little story about my first love. I was an impressional 12, or maybe 13, year old girl when this heartthrob captured me. Yes, I'm talking about Beck. I remember watching the video for Loser for the very first time on MTV after school and thinking "This is cool, who's this guy?" Then, the end of the video, dreamboat Beck goes walking in slow motion across the beach in a wetsuit. My heart stood still. I knew at that very instant that this man was the love of my life. Never mind the fact that I've never met him and the love is only reciprocated in my dreams. Beck is and always will be my first love. So, who's your first love?

Currently

Currently I am:
loving the music of St.Vincent
designing a mediterranean garden for my advanced landscape design class

tediously drawing this foxglove (Digitalis purpurea) being pollinated by a bumblebee with prismacolors

* Photo found during random search for foxglove on Flickr and after almost 10 minutes of unsuccessfully trying to find the picture again to credit the photographer...I gave up.

Still Alive

I haven't had the time or energy for a proper post lately for numerous reasons. While driving to work a few weeks ago, I was in a car accident. Luckily, myself and the other driver are perfectly unharmed. My car was totaled and the process of dealing with insurance and finding a new car has been exhausting. Alas, I was fairly compensated for my totaled car and am now driving the amazing feat of modern technology known as the Toyota Prius. However, I'm especially tired of talking about the whole incident, so enough

With all the stress I've been through, I did feel it necessary to treat myself to something lovely that I've wanted for a while. I must say, I was not disappointed with this beauty at all.

School is starting next week and have mixed feelings about it. The end of summer is always a bit melancholy for me. Summer holds all of my dearest memories and my heart is always aglow during the warm months. We're just now getting true summer heat in san Diego, so I'm hoping that summer will extend into fall this year.

To help keep me organized this school year, I bought Jill Bliss's Floral Leaves Datebook. This datebook is the perfect size to throw in my purse and I love that my days will be filled with Jill's lovely plant drawings.

Sorry for all the randomness. Nothing else exciting to report on from here and I promise do do a proper post soon.

*Photo of glorious Shasta Daisies taken early in the summer at the San Diego Botanic Garden.

30 Reasons I'm glad to be 30: Part 3

Whew, this list was hard! In the weeks before my birthday, I had so many thoughts for this list just floating around in my head and I was sure that I had at least 30. Not so. While I was half way through reasons 11-20, I realized I was pretty much dry and I had to conjure up the rest of the list on the spot. So, here's reasons 21 through 30 and I apologize if some of these reasons seem a little redundant. I felt that it was my personal responsibility to follow through with this and get to 30 reasons, no matter what.

21. My appreciation for nature has deepened. I suppose this is just something that with age, naturally happens to a nature lover. Any opportunity I get, I want to be outside and observe the world. It is so important to me. I feel that being in nature recharges me somehow. Like the only way I can function at maximum efficiency is if I spend time away from the city, and in nature, at least a few times a week.

22. I'm much happier with my body now, then when I was younger. Sure, while I was in my early 20's I was almost 10 pounds slimmer and I hardly had to put in any effort to maintain my naturally thin figure. Yet, I couldn't see past any of the small flaws that I perceived (imagined or real) and I never felt anything near the confidence I feel now. I'm perfectly content now, knowing that my body is healthy and my weight is right where it should be.

23. I've learned that the only person's opinion about me that truly matters, is mine. Too many times in my youth, I've let the opinions of others impact me. In the last few years or so, I've realized that I can't be true to myself if I care too much about someone else's opinion of me.

24. I refuse to accept, or invite, anything negative into my life. I've realized that I have a choice in what I allow in my life. Negative energy is something I am wise enough to know not to tolerate anymore. I feel that it is an obligation to myself to either remove negative energy from my life, or remove myself from it. Without remorse.

25. I can laugh at the ridiculous things from my youth that I still haven't gotten over. Like the simple fact that I'm still a little afraid of the dark and I make Josh turn out the lights before bed after I'm already in bed with the TV on for a nightlight. Or that I still love Barbie and can't pass by the Barbie isle at Target without taking a minute to look at all the new dolls and imagine which ones I would pick out if I were still a little girl. I don't think I'll ever really "grow up" entirely and I don't think anyone ever does... nor should.

26. I'm truly grateful that I've never been materialistic. While I do enjoy having nice things, I do not depend on them to define who I am. Living in southern California, materialism seems to be a lifestyle for many people. In these people, there's no art, no depth, just "I'm elevated because I wear this brand and drive this car." This attitude is prominent where I live and I feel immensely grateful that it has never penetrated through to me. 

27. I know to trust my intuition. So many times I've ignored my intuition, only to discover later on that the deep feeling inside of my head and heart was right. I've learned that as ridiculous and illogical as it seems to make judgements on things based merely on a feeling, I usually end up making the right decisions this way and to ignore these feelings is to deny my very essence. 

28. I am so happy that I never followed through with any of my desires to get a tattoo. Don't get me wrong, I love tattoos. A lot of my friends have beautiful and meaningful tattoos. I just don't think I'm a tattoo type of gal. I'm pretty sure that if I had followed through in getting any of the tattoos I wanted in my youth, I would have totally regretted it now.

29. I'm beyond grateful to have my two sweet doggies, Lily and Misha. Before Josh and I adopted these little girls, I didn't know I was capable of loving something so much. They are always there for me and always in tune with my moods. They are the closest things to angels I've ever encountered and I couldn't imagine that my life would be nearly as great without them.

30. I'm happy to be 30 because I'm happy with my life! Sure, I have bad days, sometimes I get a little melancholy for no reason and my marriage isn't always as perfect as I'd like it to be, but overall I am happy to have the life I do. I'm glad that I've lived to be 30 and I've been fortunate enough to live on such a beautiful planet and to have the many lovely people (and pets) in my life.

Happy Birthday to all of my fellow Cancers!

Love Toni

30 Reasons I'm glad to be 30: Part 2

My birthday itself was a lovely day. Josh and I spent all morning decorating our place and then we went out to dinner with my family. We came home and had the most decadent cupcakes from Stephanie's Bakery (passion vanilla cake with raspberry filling, buttercream icing and fresh raspberries on top, all vegan of course!), Sofia champagne and homemade bruschetta with heirloom tomatoes and fresh herbs. I've received some fantastic gifts, but most of all I've really just enjoyed spending time with all of the people I love the most in my life.

Here's 11-20 of 30 Reasons I'm glad to be 30.

11. I'm wise enough to know that I'm still naive. In other words, I know enough to know that I still don't know enough, haha. I will always be open to learning new things and I'm certainly not so egocentric to think that I know everything.

12. I've embraced my introversion. I've always been an introvert. I specifically remember when I was in elementary school and the other kids were playing together at recess, I was happily sitting alone under a tree reading (most likely a faerie tale). It's not that I didn't have friends or didn't enjoy playing with them, I was just happier being somewhere with my own imagination. This introversion is sometimes thought of by others as me being anti-social, that something must be wrong with me. Some people are introverts, some are extroverts. I am an introvert and I'm happy to be one, thank you very much!

13. I'm too old for mini skirts, thank goodness. I've always dressed a little "reserved" and mini skirts (a wardrobe staple for California girls in their 20's) kind of look ridiculous to me most of the time. Now that I'm 30, my knee length skirts and dresses simply look appropriate for my age instead of reserved.

14. I'm happy not having children. Sure I may be 30 and married and the conventional thing to do now would be to have children. However, I'm not ready to have kids yet and I hardly think mere age and marital status is a good reason to procreate. I'm still finding my way in the world and having a child is something I'm still not ready for. When, and if, the time is right I'll know, but the time's not right yet... Mom and Dad.

15. While I may not yet have a house, I know I'm on my way. I want nothing more right now than to have my own little house with hardwood floors and a sweet little yard where I can grow my own food and Lily and Misha can run around. I can finally see this in the near future and when the day comes, I'll simply explode with joy. Old dirt road... mushaboom, mushaboom.

16. I've learned how to see and appreciate unconventional beauty. It's no secret that the media bombards us with images of unattainable (and digitally altered) perfection as the standard of beauty. As a teenage girl I, and most others, was very susceptible to this. I have learned that there is no true standard of beauty. It's all about perception and if we open our minds to all kinds of beauty we can easily see beauty everywhere.

17. I've overcome a lot of my shyness. Oh my, when I was younger I was so very shy. I had a hard time asking for help from strangers without fumbling over my words. I guess shyness is something that simply fades with age because I never made a conscious effort to improve, it just happened, thankfully.

18. I couldn't be more pleased with my matured taste-buds. When I was younger, there were certain foods which I now love that I just couldn't stand such as onions, pickles, olives etc. I don't know when it happened, but I now love all of these and I can't even think of any foods that I don't like. With the exception of meat, dairy, eggs and other non-vegan foods.

19. I am on my way to learning time management. Anyone who knows me knows that I am always late, to almost everything. Well, I've got news for all of you. I've been on time more and more often. I'm not going to say anymore on the matter, just in case these words come back to haunt me one day when I'm running a half hour late.

20. I can make a garden anywhere. As you know from number 15, I don't live in a house. I live in a condo on the second floor and my only space for gardening is a 20' x 8' patio, yet I have turned this small space into my own sweet little garden with a bistro table, garden lights and potted plants galore. I have houseplants and orchids a'plenty growing inside and I know, a true gardener can find space to garden anywhere.

Bright Star

Only two films have ever made me sob, not cry, but sob. Bright Star, which I got for my birthday, is one of them. The film is visually stunning and the love story of poet John Keats and his muse Fanny Brawne is truly the most romantic. I've had poetic thoughts and goosebumps in waves ever since I finished watching the movie. 

The other film that makes me sob is Disney's The Fox and the Hound, which I can't even watch very often because even after the film is over I'm still a blubbering mess.

*Part two of my 30 reasons I'm glad to be 30 coming soon.

30 Reasons I'm glad to be 30

I know I know, I haven't posted in, ahem, quite a while. I've honestly been insanely busy and the time and energy it takes into writing a new blog post has been occupied by other daily activities. So here I am the day after my 30th Birthday. It feels strange. Usually I don't feel any different on or after my birthday but I definitely feel like a cosmic change has occurred this time. I've been thinking a lot lately about my life and the things I'm grateful for. While doing this, I've compiled this list (in no particular order) of 30 reasons I'm glad to be 30. I will post 10 reasons at a time as not to bombard you all.

1. I'm just plain happy to be done with my 20's. A lot of that strange confusion and angst about the world that I felt as a teenager seemed to linger into my 20's and I've finally started to find my own way in the world.

2. My marriage. I have an amazingly sweet and caring husband and I don't think I would be the person I am today without him. He accepts my flaws and has taught me to accept them in myself. He is my rock, shoulder to cry on, hero of any emergency I've ever had (real & over dramatized), best friend, baker of sweets, bearer of unexpected flowers, and the most generous spirit I've ever encountered.

3. I have learned to accept all of my mistakes and if I had the chance to do anything over again, I certainly wouldn't do anything different. We all make mistakes. We all do things that  embarrass ourselves. We all put our foot in our mouths without thinking and say things that hurt peoples feelings. I've learned to have the same forgiveness for myself in these instances that I usually extend to other people. All of my mistakes have taught me valuable lessons that I might not have ever learned without them.

4. As a woman, I'm lucky that I've developed my own personal style. I know how I like my hair and makeup. I know what dress shapes and colors look flattering on me. I know how to decorate my home in a way that makes it feel like my own sanctuary. Being artistically inclined, I would feel suffocated by someone else's ideas of style and so finding my own style has kept me somewhat sane in a way. Or at least not completely insane.

5. I'm so over being cool. Whether we want to admit this to ourselves or not, we have all been guilty of trying to be cool. Of not doing something we really wanted to, not wearing something we like, simply because it's not cool. I'm a nerd and I like being nerdy and I'm over being cool.

6. I know where I stand ethically. It has taken me a few years to develop strong and informed ethical opinions about the world dealing with politics, religion, feminism, animal rights, human and civil rights, and the environment and I am confident that I have made the right ethical choices for my own life.

7. I've learned how to eat healthily. For so many years I was terrified of gaining any extra weight that I deprived myself of eating certain foods. This became terribly unhealthy for me and caused me to obsess about ridiculous things unnecessarily. I am now completely content with my body and I know how to eat in a way that provides my body all the nutrition I need without depriving me of anything.

8. I've embraced my sensitivity. Ever since I can remember I was told not to be so sensitive. I am comfortable being sensitive and I've said this before, but I would much rather be too sensitive than insensitive. I think there is a lack of sensitivity amongst society and I'm proud to be a misfit in this area.

9. I'm glad I've finally found my calling in life. I'm happy to be in school, knowing that I'll be doing what I truly love when I'm done. My decision to become a botanical illustrator feeds my passion for art and my love of science and nature. I may be older than most college students, but I'm certain that I've found what I am best at and I might not have discovered this if I went to college right out of high school.

10. While I may not have a huge group of friends anymore, like I did when I was younger, the friends that I do have are amazing beautiful people whom I love and truly cherish.

A Few of My Favorite Things: at home

I've been so busy with school finishing projects and preparing for finals, that I haven't really had the time to do a post for a while. Alas, here are some of my favorite things at home. Just little things around my home that bring me pleasure every time I see them. Enjoy!

A sweet faerie lamp.

Beloved Books

Flora

My Dia de los Muertos mermaid figurine. A gift from Josh.

My vanity with one of my favorite things ever, the mirror. Also a gift from my lovely husband.

A pretty hand-beaded purse.

My Hip Parents

A few days ago I found this site that shows people's parents back when they were in their prime coolness! I absolutely love all the pictures on this site and I could spend hours looking at all the glamourous moms and dads, hippie parents, and just plain cool people. I submitted this photo below of my mom and dad. My mama looks sooo cute (love the hair!) and my dad is a handsome young man as well. I couldn't find an old picture of Josh's parents, but when I do I will post that as well.

Love you Mom and Dad!

My Protest to Fall

Yesterday was the Autumnal Equinox, which means the first day of fall. I'm really saddened by this as I love spring and summer so much. I'm always a little melancholy at this time of year, and so to get me through the cold dark days of fall and winter I've decided to protest the arrival of fall. How will I do this, you ask? No one can control Mother Nature, you say? First of all, I gave our little blog an airy white makeover. Secondly, throughout the cold days to come, I will post pictures and other things that make me think of the loveliness and warmth of spring and summer. Lastly, I think I'm going to break the old and dated "no white after labour day" rule. I'm going to wear pretty white summer dresses and tops with tights and cardigans if I have too. Maybe on a particularly cold day, I'll turn the heat way up and watch a summery movie on the couch in my swimsuit drinking iced tea. Any other ideas?

One of my favorite scenes from my favorite movie...the lovely Marie Antoinette!

Fresh and sweet summer raspberries (notice the cute vintage 70's Corelle, "crazy daisy" plate. Josh and I thrifted a whole 46 piece set in perfect condition over  the summer. Awesome find!)

I made this fun collage for Josh while I was at work a few days ago. It's on a manilla  folder and it's put together with only scotch tape.

Miss Dior Cherie captures the essence of spring perfectly. My favorite obsession Sofia Coppola, did a commercial for the fragrance. Watch it here  on the Miss Dior Cherie website. I don't actually own the perfume; I just adore the website and the commercial. It's so very enchanting.

A raven haired version, like me!